Kama Sutra, She's A Pretty Girl

Sometimes I wonder if it's normal for parents to talk sexually or make sexual jokes to their children, or to only their older daughter.  You definitely get what you give in life.  My mom and I are pretty close and I'm thankful for that.  We had our spats when I was younger and pubescent with raging hormones but it's much better now.  We run errands together and like to go out for coffee like mature people do (?).  Since she has off Fridays she wanted to spend the day with me since I'm home for "break" today.  I was down of course, so we went to breakfast and then she accompanied me to my gynecologist appointment.  She waited in the lounge area, I'm sure she has no interest in being in the room with me while I spread open my legs unleashing all my glory.  I don't really want her there for that either.  If you've never had this type of check up, avoid it at all costs.  Joking, obviously, it's very important to have it done to ensure you're healthy, they recommend to have one when you become sexually active or turn 21, so if either of those things have occured and you haven't, stand up to the plate and schedule an appointment to get probed (I'M TALKING TO YOU JENNA AND GENNA. NO EXCUSES. STOP PUTTING IT OFF).  It's not the worst thing in the world, it's just cold and the metal thing kinda jabs a little.  Eh, a lot.

My mom asked me how my appointment went, and I explained pretty much the same thing.

*I'm driving home with her next to me*

Ali: "It was ok.  It was very cold and kind of hurt a little.  That metal thing inside of me was pretty uncomfortable."

 Mom: "Well yeah.  You're not used to having something like that up there."

I was unsure whether she meant that in a sexual manner or just in general, I didn't want to further the conversation so I just gave her a strange sideways glance.

Mom: "...Unless Connor is a robot."

And she went there.  

Our next stop was Sheetz to get coffee.  (Sidenote:  Sheetz needs to go global.  Or at least invade all of the midwest.  Hands down the best food and the best outside lighting so I don't feel totally vulnerable while pumpin' my gas in the dark.)  I'm mizing through Sheetz scaring people away because I have this permanently disgusted look plastered on my face from her comment while my mother continues laughing uncontrollably from her "joke".
I see the new Cosmo and start reading the tag lines on the cover out loud, but all my mom is paying attention to is the woman on the cover.  She didn't know who it was and took that as a personal hit to her pop culture knowledge.  We were searching for her name but it wasn't listed anywhere which made me think she was just a model.
Naturally, my mom thought she found her name in the big bold letters at the top:

"Oh, it's Kamma Sutrah.  I wonder what she's in."

She was referring to Kama Sutra.  Luckily I was there to teach her it's pronounced Kah-ma Soo-trah, and it is not her name.  It's an old Hindu book that holds facts on achieving great sexual connection.  Sometimes considered the "bible of sex positions" or the "art of lovemaking".
My mom rolled her eyes and told me to go wait for her in the car.  Mature.
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