Honesty; Not Always Preffered

Yesterday I sorta ragged on my dad a little for being a weather nazi and being very harsh on his girls for driving cars.  I also thanked my mom for taking the hit (not literally, God no) and throwin' out the little white lie about when I'd be home to avoid the detrimental task of driving in rain.  Mother, however, is not off the hook when it comes to me lying.  In fact, I have had an ongoing lie that spanned for a year and a half.  The only reason I'm disclosing the information so publicly now is because I confessed to lying in mid-June with hopes of pleasing my mother and it failed miserably.

Overlooking the fact that writers aren't supposed to generalize their audience, I am most certainly generalizing this:  We have ALL stayed out and told our parents we were staying somewhere that possesses far less risk factor than the place we are actually going to be.  Anyways, my dad knew from early on that when I said I was going to stay over at Jenna's that meant Connor's.  Granted, I did stay at Jenna's house quite often a few years ago.  She's my main g, they have a finished basement, central air, cable and a loaded pantry.  We don't have any of those features...  And if I get tired of Jenna, there's always her sister Leah. (Joke Leah you know I love you).  SO yes I would still stay there time to time more recently, but not every freakin' night in the summer come on Mom really.  It was around this time that Connor had gotten his own place so I figured maybe I should just tell my mom I'll be there.  Just so, you know, she 100% knows where I am for safety reasons and so the hint of guilt I possessed over the past months about this would peace my system.  Besides, I assumed (bad bad bad) my mom knew where I actually was.

*Driving in the car on the way home from Wegman's Grocery Store*

Me- "So Mom, you know since Connor has his place now I'll probably stay over there a lot more.  Do you want me to just tell you when I'm there instead of saying I'm at Jenna's?"
Mom- *dead serious* " Wait?  You haven't been staying at Jenna's these past 3 nights? Or on weekends?"
Me- *blank stare; silence*
Mom- "You've been lying to me this whole time?"
Me- "I thought you knew?!  Why would I ever stay at Jenna's parents house every night.  That is creepy and not normal!"
Mom (stern stern stern)- "I thought you tell me everything!  They have a/c you said!  You can't stay over at Connor's!  I can't condone that Alice you know that!  I will not. You will not."
Me- *silence* "...I'm staying at Jenna's tonight."

Since then it has been smoothed over and all is well between my mother and I.  She is a lovely woman.  She then began referring to Connor as "Jenna #2" via late night text messages about my location, and has now progressed to using "C".  We're on our way.

xxxx
A

Fun Without Your Clothes Off

I have lied to my parents.  The secret is out.  They know.  I know. My whole family knows. They are amazing parents and have done few things that I would consider doing differently with my own kids someday.  The lying I have done was still necessary and has now made me realize that no matter how great of a parent I am someday, my kids are going to lie to me and it'll piss me off anyways.
Example 
I don't know what my dad's deal is.  He has never been concerned about alcohol consumption, drug usage or premarital sex (it's actually kind of strange his lack of concern over any of these) the way he is when a woman, particularly either of his daughters, drive a vehicle.*  He has been known to give me a terribly hard time even driving to my friends Jenna and Leah's house.  They live twenty minutes away.  If you walk...

I love him dearly, but sometimes I do have to get to places when it's dark out.  I may have to drive when it starts to rain.  And just because there is snow on the ground does not mean I'm going to be the one who hits a patch of ice that is unavoidable.  For instance, I was just getting ready to head back to Erie today for the weekend when I noticed it started to rain.  No, like straight downpour.  Awesome.  The first twenty minutes of my drive all I can think about is how furious my dad is going to be if he calls me because he knows I'm on the road and he follows local weather better than I follow the clearance page on the Urban Outfitters site.  Maybe he would be less concerned if he had me drive something other than this little 90's Corolla that feels more like a go-kart than a vehicle with wipers that make seeing more difficult at times.  I'm sorry to the Jeep from Illinois that was stuck behind me in the construction zone but I'd rather go 55 than graze the cement barrier next to us.  If my dad were to call, which he usually does at very inopportune times, I had scripted, "Yeah Dad. No I know it's supposed to rain for a while.  I've been monitoring the weather radar and I'm leaving at 6 when the rain stops, that way I'll even miss rush hour."

I arrive home safely, didn't have a minute of my drive sans rain.
My father says, clearly disgruntled, "You drove through all that rain, didn't you.  Your mother told me you were coming home at seven."
I owe you one, Mom.  

*He's not an anti-feminist who doesn't think women should drive.  Just not his daughters.