That's Just How Her Body Looks Under a Blanket

I love my family but I need to move out. And I need a job to do that. And I don't really have one yet. I am actively searching. My sister and I hate each other and we love each other. Our relationship itself is bi-polar. We will be best friends, decide to go on a run together, and half way through the run she will run in the opposite direction because she cannot stand me anymore, or I her. It's almost humorous from an objective standpoint. Actually it's funny from my perspective too, except when I'm in the moment and I realize I'm now running by myself without music. And it's nice having two closets, except mine gets updated far more often than hers does, and she can squeeze her feet into my 8 1/2 size shoes while it doesn't work out well for me to wear a size too big. Regardless, I love her and her big ass feet. I still want my own place. She even told me today she doesn't want me living at home anymore. Gee, thanks darling.

I also can't watch movies when my dad is in the house without feeling really uncomfortable. No matter what genre of movie I rent there is automatically going to be a sex scene or profuse cursing and vulgarity occurring when he's walking through the living room. It's not that he yells at me when this stuff happens but I'd rather just spare us the cringing and overall awkwardness while being together to witness it. Today I watched "Away We Go", along with like five other movies because I'm deathly ill with a stuffy nose and itchy eyes, and I thought I was safe for at least a few scenes. But no, never can I be so lucky. The first scene is John Krasinski going down on Maya Rudolph, moans and all. Superb. I pause the movie as Dad is walking into the living room, hoping he doesn't notice Rudolph laying under a blanket with a big bump of a human around her waist area. He sits down joining me while I casually skip to the next scene and try to make sense of what's going on having skipped the first five opening minutes.

Happy Monday.
xx
A

The Wrecking Ball of a Post-Grad

So you'd think because I don't have a full time job or anything I'd have a lot more time to write. I do have a lot more time but not exactly much substance to write about. I did watch Miley Cyrus' new pornography stunt, I mean music video. That was entertaining and really weird. Connor and I got into a really in depth conversation about whether or not her recent decisions are a successful career move. And when I realized we actually had a legitimate conversation about it I decided I needed to learn more about real important current events. That being said, I now know more about the conflict in Syria then I ever thought I would. Google News is awesome.

I also spent this past Friday deciding I wanted to go to grad school. That's a pretty big decision, and I know enough about myself to know that decision wasn't going to last. And I'm only considering it now because I'm in between jobs and thinking I need to make some huge decision now to fix things. Which is like impossible. My mind will settle down once I get some type of steady income. I wouldn't call babysitting steady, but it is good money. Furthermore, if my parents make one more "joke" about how little I'd make selling my body if I get desperate I'm going to lose it.

And how do people even pick what to study in graduate school? Like that's at least two more years and after that a definite career path is created. What if I don't want to do that and I've just created a massive amount of student debt for a job I don't even want to work??? I don't understand this process of making life choices in advance. Shoot.

xx
Alice

Fish for Dinner

"Vegetarian Inmate Says He Was Told Fish Isn't Meat"

So there are a few things I find questionable about this news story. Number one. Fish is meat, in my opinion. Another thing is that I believe everyone is entitled to eat what they want, when they want (within reason, those bath salt crazy face eating people is simply vile). I'm a vegetarian but if I want to eat salmon one night to shape up my omega intake then so be it. I will do just that. It's unlikely I will but the fact is that I can. If you want to get technical then my vegetarianism would change to make me a pescatarian. BUT WHO NEEDS LABELS ANYWAY? Yeah right, our society eats labels up for breakfast. That's a different story though.

This man, whose yellin' about getting served fish in prison when all he wants is some good old fashion fruits, veggies, whole grains and starch, expects to get special treatment for his diet? Hells no. You're in prison. It's not even like you have a health condition, which would make his request far more reasonable. The fact that the prison administration or cook or whatever even work around your desire to not eat meat is kind of a shocker to me. I understand it's important for them to respect his religious beliefs of "practicing" Buddhism, but come on, he's in prison for twenty years due to sexual assault, which isn't exactly practicing Buddhism either.

Furthermore;; Just some pictures from a day in the life of an ACTIVELY SEEKING unemployed young adult.

Blackout curtains: When sleep time can be anytime.

Vincent: The only family member who is getting more sleep than me.

Tub of Cookie Dough: In case things get really bad.

xx

Alice

I'm not bigger or better but I'm back!

The thought of getting back to blogging has been in my mind, laying dormant, for a few months now. I stopped because I didn't want it to hinder me in terms of my senior internship, and I got nervous and was like "i can't do this it's too dangerous". WOW ALI RELAX PEOPLE DON'T EVEN CARE AND LIKE NOT MANY PEOPLE READ THIS. I flatter myself.

I feel like writing again because I enjoy it and actually have way too much time on my hands. I am at the ripe age of twenty two, just waiting for it to straight mimic Taylor Swift's version of "22". I am not anywhere close. For starters, I have a college degree from a  midwestern liberal arts school, thousands of dollars of student loan debt, and uncertainty if the degree I received is even going to matter once I actually find a job. Oh and I'm not a musician. Really though, how much emphasis do I want to put on what I actually "studied" in terms of getting a position I'd actually want? Sociology and public health, the subjects in which I dedicated the past four years of my academia life to, are easily defendable as being important, and also undeniably broad. The latter not being a good trait for my life situation right now. I feel a little lost. I want someone standing in front of me, saying "This is what you want to do. This is how you're going to do it. And you're going to love it." 

That has got to be the best case scenario if one was to lose all sense of autonomy. And the thing is, I know I'm not the only young adult who feels this way. Apparently, according to BuzzFeed and social media GIFs it is normal for recent college graduates to feel absolutely hopeless. How refreshing, let's all take a sigh of relief. I just need some direction in life, or maybe some income. I have enough confidence in myself to believe I could capture a minimum wage job, something behind a counter taking orders about how you want your sub prepared, or maybe walking around a shop re-folding tee shirts until they are perfectly creased at the sides. But I have done that, and I could have done that without acquiring debt and spending hours writing research papers on environmental justice movements and the cyclical nature of poverty in the United States. So while I'm in this cloudy area of life, between ending my educational years and trying to make something of myself in a "real job", I have been eating a lot of sushi from Wegman's, getting half way through a number of books, sleeping, drinking for really cheap amounts, serial watching television shows on Netflix and second guessing everything about my life. Including whether or not I should get a Twitter account back. Ha, and you thought I was talking deep thoughts. I mean, I do have a smart phone now so I could actually stay up to par on my twitter feed. Decisions decisions.

A few big updates in no particular order since you last heard from me via blog: I have a college degree; I possess an iPhone; I was broken up with; I stopped being vegan; I worked at a summer camp; I tried eating a tuna sandwich and threw it up; I am back to being vegan-ish; I had my first Irish car bomb; I am back together with my boyfriend; I started writing a book and instead blogged.

Thanks for reading and understanding my 9 month hiatus. Don't read too much into the irony of being gone 9 months. I don't have a baby. 

xx

Alice